The Christian way
Matthew 18: If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him – work it out between the two of you.
We Christians claim to be followers of Jesus but we tend to overlook some of the inconvenient things he teaches. Jesus says that if there’s something going on between me and you that my first order of business is to go to you and explain to you how I’ve been hurt. If that doesn’t work out there are further steps I’m to take in seeking reconciliation with you. The thing is we Christians seldom follow these clear instructions. We go around with a chip on our shoulder, talk about people (otherwise known as gossip), start lining up our allies and identifying our enemies and, in general, toss aside this teaching of our Lord and Master. When that’s done, a rift in the church is formed that draws people into the fight and drives people out of the church. Energies that should be spent in winning the lost are wasted in attempts to win the fight. Still, for those of us who can’t imagine dealing with a broken relationship like Jesus says, I’m going to offer an alternative approach. Just forget it. Stop being hurt, stop “remembering,” stop talking, and forgive from the depths of your heart. Apologize to Jesus for being so shallow as to be hurt about whatever it is and ask him to forgive you as you’re forgiving them. This alternative is almost implied by the rest of this passage in which Jesus talks about the unforgiving servant. So, when I’m hurt and upset about something, as a follower of Jesus, I have a couple of options. I can go to you and begin the reconciliation process Jesus described or I can stop being so sensitive and let it go, forgiving as I’ve been forgiven. Responding to hurts in these ways is how Christians do things.
Take Away: A Christian with a chip on his or her shoulder isn’t behaving like a Christian at all.